Discontent and its friends selfishness and pride wormed their way into my heart and mind this week. When I stepped back and thought about responses, especially to my husband, Van, I regretted them.

I knew I had choices: continue the restless discontent making myself and others miserable, withdraw because of guilt and shame, or surrender to the Holy Spirit. Let His character fill my heart and mind. His peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control replace my discontent, selfishness, and pride.

My one word for 2015 is ABIDE. Live in the company of Jesus. It’s the only way I can gain the things I truly want: peace, joy, kindness, patience.

Abiding allowed me to surrender. Ask forgiveness from Van and God.

And both graciously forgave.

The peace that passes understanding and guards my heart and mind when I cast my anxiety on Christ (Philippians 4:6-7) dissipated that restless discontent.

I could feel the difference as my body relaxed. I could hear the difference in the tone of my voice.

I whispered His Name many times. Like a little child needing reassurance her mommy is near, I needed to call on Jesus over and over. To remember His presence and remain there.

Last night, when I walked in the door after school, Van said, “I’m taking you out for dinner. We both need a break from routine and some time to sit face-to-face and enjoy one another.”

His prayer before the meal began thanked God for His presence in our lives. Van thanked God for me. Said I was a reason for celebration in his life.

That is love and grace.

Van demonstrated what God does for me. Forgiveness. Joy. Celebration.

All flowing from love.

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