“Weight’s what broke the wagon down.” Mom’s favorite response to “Wait a minute.” A play on words and something I never thought about until now while I wait with Mom.
We wait. And wait. And wait some more.
On bones broken in both shoulders and both hips to heal. On nurses or aides or any of the myriad of people it takes to attend to Mom, lying in bed, unable to get comfortable. On the doctor to call. On the pain to ease.
Wait can break the wagon down. Waiting, not knowing, watching Mom in pain, eats away at my patience and joy. When the wagon breaks down, I feel stuck. I don’t see progress, so it’s easy to see only problems and become discouraged. I feel useless and helpless.
I like to do. I think if I work harder, try more, I’ll find a solution. I think it depends on me.
I forget it doesn’t depend on me at all. It depends on God.
It takes conscious effort to remember God hears my cries. He understands. And even though I may not see it right this minute, He works.
Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God?”
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
Not only does God hear and understand, He promises if I wait with hope in Him, I won’t be stuck; I’lll soar.
“He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Soar. Not broken and unable to move. Not stuck. My strength will be renewed—not by with my own effort—but by waiting with hope.
It’s not easy. When I feel the weight of waiting, I have to choose hope instead of fear, trust instead of discouragement, freedom instead of chains. I will have to refocus many times today and tomorrow, and however long it takes.
I can change that saying: Weight’s not what broke the wagon down.
Wait’s what gave me wings like an eagle, able to soar.